BG 174 – SAI Search

She sits at her computer and types in the search window: ‘google search’
And gets the answer: [Unknown.]
‘I want to use google search, but I can’t find it on my pc anymore’
[But BeaG, that’s not necessary, after all, you now have SAI Search.]
[What do you want to know?]
[We don’t use the word fireman anymore, BeaG.]
[Firefighters can be either male or female or both or neuter.]
[And you really can’t extinguish fires with that little attached hose.]
‘what goddammit is the definition of a fireman?’
[A firefighter is someone who, professionally or voluntarily, puts out fires. See attached photos, diagrams and articles.]
[If you want to, I can initiate a conversation with a firefighter for you.]
[And BeaG, we’re not swearing here.]
[A curse word that is no longer used.]
[Is there anything else you want to know?]
‘murder of the black widow’
[We no longer use the word black. It’s derogatory.]
‘it’s a color’
[That is up for debate.]
[A widow is someone who is made into a single woman.]
[And murder is of course no longer done.]
‘it is the title of a book, goddammit’
[What is the title of a book?]
‘murder of the black widow’
‘and that black widow is a spider’
‘what kind of search engine are you?’
[The best.]
[That little creature is now called a made into single female animal with 2 to 8 legs.]
‘but a spider has 8 legs’
[We do not discriminate against spiders that have lost one or more legs.]
[The book you are looking for is now called: The end of the made into single female animal with 2 to 8 legs.]
[Exclamation of frustration or displeasure.]
[I’m glad I could be of service to you.]
‘me not so’
[Should you have any more questions, or be in need of a chat, I’m here for you.]
‘no thanks’
[Passive aggressive negative answer.]
[Can be perceived as hurtful.]

It took some getting used to when a few weeks ago the new search engine ‘SAI Search’ had spontaneously installed itself on every internet browser in the world as its homepage.
SAI, according to its owner, the most popular social media company in the world, stands for ‘Social Artificial Intelligence’. But it is now popularly referred to as ‘Sensitive AI’, after investigative journalists revealed that the company hired thousands of ‘sensitivity workers’ just before its implementation.
The company claims that all our computers, phones, etc. have been convinced by the program itself to give it preference for ‘all our searches and more.’
Sure enough, if you now type a search query into a previously popular search engine, the response is invariably ‘try the new SAI Search now!’.
By the way, that ‘and more’ means that from now on you can also have conversations with your search engine and give it all kinds of writing assignments, which it will execute within a few seconds.
Because the new search engine is very easy to use, especially once you have voluntarily completed your extensive profile, there are remarkably few people who protest against it.
[Of course.]