This is the dialogue I wrote for the Belgian outdoor theater project ‘Het Bankje 2021‘.
– Nice weather today, right?
– (silent)
– I said nice weather today.
– Yes. I heard that.
– And?
– And what?
– Is it nice weather today?
– I just heard so.
– And do you agree?
– No, I don’t agree.
– Why?
– Why what?
– Why don’t you agree?
– Agree with what?
– That the weather is nice today.
– I think it’s cold.
– But it surely isn’t that cold today?
– Yes it is.
– Yesterday was colder.
– A little, yes.
– Today the weather is nice.
– I don’t think so.
– Why?
– It’s too cold for me.
– It’s too cold, you say?
– No. I say it is too cold for ME.
– Oh, right.
– Yes.
– How about the rain?
– What rain?
– That it doesn’t rain today.
– Then why do you ask about the rain?
– What do you think about it?
– About what?
– About it not raining today?
– Oh that. I rather like that.
– You rather like that it doesn’t rain?
– Yes, that’s what I said.
– Good, something we agree on.
– Do we have to?
– Do we have to what?
– Agree?
– No, we don’t have to.
– Good.
– And more…
– No, don’t bother!
– What do you mean, don’t bother?
– We are done with this conversation.
– I’m not.
– I am. We’re done.
– Oh well…
– Done.
– Oh, okay.
(fifteen minutes later)
– Do you have…
– No.
– Do you perhaps have…
– No, I told you.
– But you don’t even know yet what I was going to ask.
– Still the answer is no.
– Well…
(another fifteen minutes later)
– Are you…
– No.
– Do you happen to be…
– No. Not even happen to.
– But you don’t even know yet what I was going to ask!
– Indeed.
– (sigh…)
(after a long silence)
– Are you going…
– No.
– Are you going today…
– No, I said.
– But…
(resumes the conversation)
– How do you feel about the climate crisis?
– (remains silent)
– How do you feel about global warming?
– Should I have an opinion on that?
– Yes.
– I mind that.
– Me too!
– And urgent.
– What did you say?
– Urgent. I think it’s urgent.
– Me too!
(half an hour later)
– Are you going to…
– No.
– Are you going tomorrow…
– No, I say.
– But…
– Never mind.
– The weather is nice, right?
– Not that again.
(an hour later)
– It’s getting dark already.
– Yes.
– And it’s getting colder.
– Yes, that too.
– We have been sitting here for hours.
– Yes, I think so too.
– (sigh)
(another hour later)
– I can’t feel my feet anymore.
– Is that right?
– And my stomach growls.
– I hear it.
– You hear it all the way over there?
– Yes, sure.
– My bum.
– What about your bum?
– It hurts.
– Why?
– From sitting on this hard bench.
– Yes, that’s possible.
(very late)
– I can’t see anything anymore.
– (is silent)
– I can’t even see my feet anymore.
– I can.
– What was that?
– What?
– What was that sound?
– No idea.
– Could it be a monster?
– There’s no such thing as monsters.
– There is.
– No there isn’t.
– I’m cold.
– Okay.
– I’m very cold.
– That’s possible.
– And tired.
– That too.
– Grandma, are we finally going inside?