This is a true story. It actually happened dozens of times before we had our chimney covered with chicken wire.
Imagine: three jackdaws standing on the edge of the chimney. Their black silhouettes stand out against the clear sky.
Kow, kow! Whoppa! There I go!
Oh shit! Kow, kow, kow! It’s so cramped in here.
Kow! I can barely move my wings.
I’m almost stuck between the bricks.
And who the hell turned out the lights? Kow!
Ouch, who’s throwing a branch on my head. Kow, ouch!
Wait a minute now, it’s my turn! My!
Flapflapperflap. Kow, kow!
Whoops, I slide further down.
My wings rub against the sides.
Flapflapperflapflap. Wooow!
And even further. Oops, ai, kow, kow, kow! Flap, flap.
Pff, bah, all that soot, pff!
Say, who’s tossing that walnut on my head? Kow!
Flapflapperflapflapflap.
This is so damn exhausting.
Boink! Kow! Oh wait, here’s that hatch.
I have to knock on it with my beak, they said.
Pok, pok! Kow! Kow, kow!
Oops, it’s opening! Flapflapperflap, kow, kow!
I vaguely see an outstretched arm with a work glove.
They didn’t tell me thát, the bastards!
Flapper, flapper, flap.
Kow, kow! damn it! Don’t touch me! Kow!
I jump up a few times, but then – kow! – he has got hold of my paws.
Kow, kow, kow! He pulls me down.
I blink my eyes against the bright light and my heart is beating violently.
I can no longer make a sound out of fear.
The man clutches me tightly with his arm to his body and walks me through the house and then out the back door.
When he’s outside he throws me up and I fly away.
Yay! Puff, puff. Cough. Hooray! It worked!
I fly back to the chimney in a big arc, back to my friends.
Kow! Kow, kow! Out of my way!
I want to do it again!