funny

BG 191 – Noisy hobby

Our sympathetic neighbor J has a noisy hobby.
No, he’s not tearing around on a motorcycle with a modified muffler.
He is a recreational leaf blower.

In autumn, when thousands of wet leaves lie around their home, but also in summer, when it is difficult to find even a single dried leaf, he spends a lot of time enthusiastically and noisily moving those things from place to place with his leaf blower.

And when there really is no more leaf to be found, he still does not need to feel bored, because fortunately he has a number of spare noisy hobbies.
He then trims tiny hedges with a large electric hedge trimmer, or vacuums the plastic grass that lies on a concrete surface next to their home, or pressure washes the floor of their garage and their driveway, while enjoying loud music from a Dutch folk singer.
When he’s done making noise, the neighborhood breathes a sigh of relief.

BG 182 – Sex education

Some parents worry that school sex education leads to premature sex.
But I have never met parents who are afraid that their child will put into practice other things that they have been taught at school.

For example, they never seem to worry about their child starting to speak French as a result of French class, starting to help them with their tax returns after math class, starting to apply the laws of logic correctly after physics class (oops, sorry mom!), or starting to learn to play the piano after music lessons.

In fact, having a teacher (yuck!) explain sex to them, does not make it more attractive to them and rather causes them to put it off a little longer.

BG 111 – Special Compliment

Special compliment from a personal trainer, many years and extra kilo’s ago:
‘You have very strong abs!
Too bad they are invisible behind that thick layer of fat.’

BG 93 – Ik vond / I found

Ik vond dit advies op mijn pakje papieren zakdoekjes: ‘Collect Beautiful Moments’.
Oeps…. dat is niet waar ik ze voor gebruik!

Picture of package of paper tissues, with an arrow pointing out this advice: collect beuatiful moments.


I found this advice on my package of paper tissues: ‘Collect Beautiful Moments’.
Oops… that’s not what I use them for!

BG 44 – Falling

During her daily walk through Quiet Belgian Village, the residents today seem to fall spontaneously as soon as they see The Maakster. That could of course be coincidental. It hasn’t frozen, on the contrary, it is actually quite warm for this time of year, but last night’s rain has made the remaining rotting leaves on the street slippery.

Halfway through her route, between the sports fields on one side and the mountain bike terrain on the other, The Maakster sees an elderly man with his dog in the distance. The man suddenly swings both his arms through the air and then falls slap on his behind. The dog, a blond labrador, looks at him in surprise. When she passes him a moment later and asks how he is doing – the man, not his dog –

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BG 37 – Online Shopping

E-mail 1:
Internet Shop here. Thank you for having placed an order with us a minute ago.
If you suffer from forgetfulness: this is what you just ordered.

E-mail 2:
Thank you for your order. We will deliver it as soon as possible (even though you have said that you are not in a hurry and that, from an environmental point of view, you would prefer us to take a little longer).
If you suffer from forgetfulness: this is what you just ordered.

E-mail 3:

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